I have never really seen E.T. The Extra Terrestrial.

Bits and pieces on cable, but I’ve never sat down and watched it from beginning to end. Why? I don’t really think I’ll like it — more importantly though, it scared the ever loving shit out of me when I was 5 years old.

The scene in question is pretty innocuous through adult eyes, it’s the one where Drew Barrymore first sees E.T. and she screams, and then he screams and then there’s just so much screaming. Total nightmare fuel for a five-year-old.

I’ve never quite understood the childhood whimsy around this movie – which, again, I haven’t really seen nor plan on it – E. T. is weird looking and naked, the movie is filled with irritating children and, worst of all, it’s sad. The government wants to cut E.T. open to check out his insides, E.T. gets all sick near the end and then a boy loses his best friend. How can you people watch this stuff? I would bawl watching this movie today. Embarrassing, ugly crying.

I am a grown man. I do not need that to happen to me.



I have seen E.T. – The Extraterrestrial.

My mother and grandmother took me to see E.T. in our small-town-Florida movie theater when it was released in the early 80s. My memory of the actual events in the film are hazy because I was so saddened by it that, in thirty years, I haven’t seen it since. What I do remember is swearing to myself, with tears in my eyes, as we walked through the parking lot to our car, that I would never watch it again. And I haven’t.

I was relaying this story to my co-worker (who programmed our Little Creatures brunch series) and he asked me why I felt so sad about E.T. I guess it’s because it was my first experience watching intolerance on-screen, seeing people violently react to things they didn’t understand because they either didn’t take the time or didn’t care enough. It was interesting because whereas he sees hope in the film (and he’s probably right), I just remember the feeling of despair. 

Ironically, I still had an E.T. doll (the one with the dress). And it scared the crap out of me too.


All this being said, here’s where you can buy tickets to E.T. this weekend at Nitehawk. You masochists.