robo

Robocop (1987) | Tickets
Tuesday, April 8; 9:30pm

1. Maybe the best of mad genius Paul Verhoeven’s movies, Robocop weaves back and forth between biting satire and hyper-violent 80’s bullshit so deftly that it actually seems like a crazy person made it. A crazy person with Things To Say.

2. It’s still not as insane and awesome as Showgirls though—minority opinion.

3. I really enjoy that the “bad guy robot” in Robocop, the ED-209, is such a big, angry dope of monster. He’s like a great big dog that’s afraid of going down the stairs — or that Bull Mastiff that won’t get off the bed. He’s big and scary, but you kind of want to hug him.

4. The odd thing about Robocop as a character is how heavily the studio pushed him as a kid-friendly superhero. He was the subject of a heavily promoted toy-line (ones with caps in their back for real exploding action), a cartoon series, a TV series and several popular video games–that’s a lot of temptation to get kids out there to see a movie where a character does blow off of a hooker’s chest.

Give us your parents’ money so you can win this pinball machine.*

*You will never win this pinball machine

5. Despite Boddicker’s gang including the likes of Kurtwood Smith, Ray Wise and that guy who explodes after getting drenched with toxic sludge—my favorite no-name troublemaker in Robocop is still Jesse D. Goins. I think it’s just because Goins has the coolest outfit of the gang and kind of humps the air when he fires his shotgun, but it could also be because Ray Wise has such a bad case of dad hair.

goins

6. Nancy Allen, who plays Robocop’s saucy pseudo-but-not-really love interest Lewis, also worked with Brian De Palma on a couple of occasions. That’s not really interesting in and of itself, but it gives me an excuse to post this picture of her in Dressed to Kill.

Murphy!

7. While the Robocop sequels are quite easy to write off (especially the rather dismal third film), Robocop 2 does feature that procession of replacement Robocops going nuts and killing themselves.


8. What possible use does Robocop’s middle finger stabbing probe have? What kind of USB port is that? Do other people walk around with daggers that plug into their computer mainframes? Is this standard Delta City tech? Because if it is — it’s really stupid. Except when you stab people in the neck with it.

robocop

9. In 1990, Robocop was used in a publicity stunt by World Championship Wrestling. In the story, WCW mega-face Sting was to make his comeback after getting sidelined by an injury, but to protect himself and “all the little stingers” from the evils of The Four Horsemen, Sting hired out his buddy Robocop as his personal body guard for a big Pay-Per-View event. It is widely regarded as pro-wrestling’s darkest hour, and it is incredible.


10. Bitches leave.