Starring: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Ornella Muti, Topal, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed

December news-Flash (ah-ahhh)* from The Deuce: Planet Earth in peril! Oceans in turmoil! Earthquakes! Eruptions! Sudden Solar Eclipses! HOT HAIL!! Only 14 hours left to save the Earth! But don’t despair – The Deuce (Savior of the Universe!) is here and has a handsome hunky hero in tow:  FLASH (ah-ahhh) GORDON!! (Quarterback. New York Jets.) Can the flaxen-haired footballer and his new-found friends save our Big Blue Marble from the fate the frivolously fiendish Emperor Ming of Mongo has fashioned?? That of (hahahahahaha) TOTAL ANNIHILATION!??!

HE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US!!

Sam (just a man) J. Jones, cast straight from his Dating Game (Flash, I love you!)  “debut” (!!), thrown into the mix and holding his own (with a man’s courage!) – or, at the least, having a helluva good time – with some major capital “M” Master capital “T” Thespians: Max (Ming The Merciless) von Sydow and (Dr. Hans Zarkov) Topal (formerly at NASA), both positively savoring the ridiculousness of their roles… milking every moment of their characters’ megalomania to maximum levels! With wry, randy robots! Lizardmen! Hawkmen! Treemen! Manly-men! And man-loving (maybe?) ladies!! Ming’s mercilessly mesmerizing daughter, Princess Aura (Ornella – putting the “OM” in “OMG” – Mutti)! “New York City girl” and ardent Flash-fan/cheerleader/confidant/go-getter-gal Dale Arden (an equally mesmerizing, music-to-the-ears Melody Anderson)! Mesmerizing guys and gals from all kinds of wacky worlds! Cytherians! Ardentians! Aquarians! Azurians! And dwarfs! Lots of dwarfs!!??!!

Go Flash, go Flash, go Flash, GO!

Director Mike (Get Carter) Hodges, taking a break from his usual grit-and-grime British crime drama bent – and backed by the bounty of Dino De Laurentiis – with a script by TV’s (BAM! POWIE! OOF! KER-PLOW!) Batman helmsman, Lorenzo Semple, Jr. (fresh-ish from Dino’s equally outre KING KONG!) – and (again, courtesy Batman) – EEE-YOW! – pure throw-back afternoon matinee movie-magic… nearly maniacal in its over-the-top EVERYTHING… abandoning rhyme and reason and “good” taste in favor of capital “F” Fuckin’ Fun!! A Day-Glo Disco Party Glitter Rock extravagance… kitschy and kinky! Designed and costumed to an eye-popping, jaw-dropping drooling-delirium that flamboyantly and faithfully recreates artist Alex Raymond’s original 30s-era comic-strip vision of deco interdimensional worlds, rococo rocket ships, and going-for-baroque BDSMisms… Garish! Gaudy! Giddily goofy!!

And, oh yeah – it’s got some pretty good music in it too…

GORDON’S ALIVE!

YEAH!!

*(granted – if you have not seen FLASH (ah-ahhh) GORDON – most of the above will make very little sense… easily rectified, however, by seeing said FLASH (ah-ahhh) GORDON this December with (oh-ohhh) The Deuce!)