Come May – in the honored celebration of the myriad-ness of Moms – take hand of The Deuce for a fearsome foray into the fog-machine misted, laser-lit miasma of matrilineal legacy within MAUSOLEUM!! Cast those crutches “Logic” and “Control” to the curb and leap into a head-spinning Mother’s Day hodge-podge of demonic distaff hereditary tribulation… rife with randy gardeners, horny horticulturists, dallying discoers… all and more reduced to ridiculed raw meat under the Gorgon-like glare of electric-green eyes aglow with searing screeching scorn! And spite!! Woman’s righteous wrath unearthed from its crypt of confinement… free from Man’s futile fortressing… unchained from chastise… loose unto the land!! With boobies that bite!!!

Amidst the blasé bullying of dullard hubby and his hoisted-upon-her even dullard-er psychotherapist both poo-pooing her plight, winsome wife (Playboy Playmate/Ghoulies-gal beauty, Bobbie Bresee) “Susan Walker Ferrell” ain’t havin an easy-breezy time dealing… even with all her winsomeness! “The Curse” coursing through said “Susan Walker Ferrell” flows – despite what the everyday run-of-the-Male belittling would have her believe – but accord instead to her (admittedly convolutedly murky) nom-de-nee-dom of “Nomed” – as by being a lady-type descendant of said maternally becursed family… yes – NOmed… not YESmed – regardless of all the Quaaludey quirkiness on hand… but actually, yes –  Nomed IS right – or, rather, left TO right… N-O-M-E-D.. that’s right! You got it!  D-E-M-O-N!! Yep… BRILLIANT!! GENIUS!! NOMED-IC!! The Curse is real!!

Your clench tighter with trepidation and the terror of the Inferior… trust guidance to The Deuce… navigate together this maze-MAUSOLEUM of hoary horrors and hilariously off-kilter kookiness… taking a turn into hallucinogenic haranguing of the myopic Male’s histrionic hysterics as his futile gaslighting flacidates in the face of the unfathomable unknowable un-needing of apology or explanation Female… good googly-moogly – deal with it dude!!

Granted, Moms were most likely not bustin’ the block outside the Rivoli for Mausoleum entry nor selling out the Rialto seats when it hit 42nd… a grave misstep that The Deuce means to rectify! All Moms will receive a “special” Mother’s Day Deuce “gift” in reparation for the too-many years lived without MAUSOLEUM in their lives!!

(Don’t be jelz Daddies – next month is for you!)